Number 4 - Doing Something Awesome On The Internet

Ughhhhh, a PSP... That's just so old these days. Go look for the Gameboy Color, or the awesome bootlegged China-made Gamegirl. Now, those are real hand-held consoles, dammit! Okay okay, let's get back to my wish.

Haven't you seen something on the Internet that just makes you go wow, or a post so awesome you'd just shit your pants? Of course, there are great things I could do in real life, like rob old people, punch babies into something with the consistency of skittles or whacking someone with my awesome new Manfrotto.

Well, that's good and all, but the Internet is good for something far greater! Seriously, for once in my life, I want to do something so awesome on the Internet that it'll never be forgotten! Like Goatse! Leeroy Jenkins and the GNAA!

Since I gained so much collective knowledge and entertainment from the Internet, I just feel obliged to give back to it and add to its collective greatness. Just like how CleanSerious5's nose hair shots (and his perverse love for rechargeable batteries) changed the way we at Tech ARP look at Singaporeans, I want to do something just as great on the Internet, if not greater!

Just to keep my mind set on doing something awesome, here is an example of what I consider extremely, if not God-like, awesome! Gaijin4koma!

Number 3 - Not Being As Bad Looking As The Guy Below

Although I think people who use Nikon lenses instead of Canon's superior EF series should be shot, I have a simpler wish. I wish I never as ugly as the dude below.

I was reading the news paper at Pelita and when I saw his face, rice decided to come out of my nose. I'm going to admit that I'm not good looking, not by a long shot. If I'm considered decent, Adrian would be Mr World and pigs would fly.

But one thing I'm not is this guy above. What the fxck in God's great name was the NST (New Straits Times) thinking when they printed his picture on their front page?! It's like putting Irene Fernandez (in all her "I love RED lipstick" glory) on the bloody front page or a billboard.

I was never given the gift of style, snappy dressing or the ability to comb my hair but this guy takes the cake for a total lack of fashion sense. And this is coming from the man who thinks hairdos and combing is for metrosexuals.

God? I know you're up there. Please, don't make me look like him, with that squint in one eye and a hairdo that reminds me of a wannabe Ah-Beng (technically, Ah-Bengs are wannabes, but this guys beats them flat!). I BEG YOU. This dude is just so utterly yong sui (butt ugly? ghey?) to the nth degree!

Look, I'm okay with people wanting to be politically-correct and all, but please for the love of God and all that is holy and sacred on this Earth, please put pictures of ACCEPTABLE-looking people on the front pages of our local newspapers!