ED#13 : Too Much Booze While Watching Star Trek

I get loads of spam mail everyday and my spam filter gets most of them. But for some reason, this one caught my eye before it went into the dustbin. And why not? It was an eye-catching title - "Dimensional Warp Generator Needed". :)

Let's check it out!

Dimensional Warp Generator Needed!

Greetings,

We need a vendor who can offer immediate supply.

I'm offering $5,000 US dollars just for referring a vender which is (Actually RELIABLE in providing the below equipment). Contact details of vendor required, including name and phone #. If they turn out to be reliable in supplying the below equipment I'll immediately pay you $5,000. We prefer to work with vendor in the Boston/New York area.

1. The mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with z60 or better memory adapter. If in stock the AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and two Analog Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu driven GUI accessible on the front panel XID display. All in 1 units would be great if reliable models are available

2. The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement. Needed with complete jumper/auxiliary system

3. A reliable crystal Ionizor with unlimited memory backup.

If your vendor turns out to be reliable, I owe you $5,000.

Email his details to me at: [e-mail address removed]

Please do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Part II - More On His Plight

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit. Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Sunday July 27th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Stand Time. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3' above sea level.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now. There is a good chance that sombody will try to redirect the signal. The unit must be teleported directly in a way that nobody will be able to interfere with the transference.

After unit has been sent please email me at: [e-mail address removed] with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

Conclusion

Earlier, we surmised that our friend was probably a time traveler who has mistakenly dropped into the 21st century or he had WAY too much booze while watching an episode of Star Trek. Well, after reading his second letter, it looks like he is a time traveler after all! :)

Well, good luck in finding your dimensional warp generator replacement, my friend. You are gonna need lots of it!

Questions & Comments

If you have any questions or comments about this article, please feel free to post them here! We look forward to hearing from you! :)